Mommy Has a New Friend – 5 Tips on Introducing Him to Your Kids
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How do you introduce him to your children?
Statistics show divorced women with children have a much lower chance of remarrying than divorced women with no children. Many single moms would have a simple reason for that. Who has time to date? Working and taking care of the family take up every spare second she has.
But women with children aren’t immune to the opposite sex. When the time comes that you meet a special someone and you’re finally ready to bring him home, how do you break the news to your kids? Is there a way to bring this new man into your children’s lives without making them feel you’re trying to replace their father?
1. Talk to your kids
Start preparing your kids early for the possibility that Mom might marry someday. Let them know you’re open to meeting someone and, even if you do, you won’t expect them to see him as a replacement for their father. If they assume you’ll always be a single mom, the sudden appearance of a man in your life might be too much of an adjustment.
2. Describe him as a friend
“Mommy has a new friend” is a lot less threatening than, “Mommy’s seeing someone.” No matter what your child’s age, he or she can relate to making new friends. Plus, Mommy can have a new friend without things changing in the family.
3. Keep it casual
Don’t plan some fancy first meeting. Plan something fun that the whole family can enjoy, like bowling, a movie, or a local carnival. Keep the first few meetings brief, until everyone starts to get a little more comfortable with each other.
4. Let them know you like him
Your kids trust your judgment. They look to you for guidance. If a stranger is around, they will usually watch you for cues as to whether or not to trust him. It’s the same with the new man in your life. If you’re positive about him, they’re much more likely to be, too.
5. Make sure they know they are still number one
Once things get more serious, it will be important to establish a more unified front as a couple. But in the beginning, your children will need to know that this new man won’t be a threat to your relationship with them. Abandonment is a fear of many children and letting them know you will still always be there for them could make the difference between them accepting this new man and seeing him as an obstacle.
