The Single Mom’s Guide to Dating
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You don’t have time to date, you keep telling all your friends. But they all say the same thing. It’s not healthy for you to spend all your time locked up in your tiny apartment with your children. You need to get back “out there.” But who has time to get “out there” when there’s so much to do in here?
Your life is similar to the lives of countless single women with children across the country. You try to balance a full-time job with managing a household and spending time with your children. Your life has plenty of drama without bringing a new man into the picture and, besides, who has time to date?
But eventually you give in. You head out on your first date, unsure just how much to tell this new man about your life. Should you let him know, up front, that you’re a single mom? What if he has a rule about dating women with children? Do you want to risk scaring him off this soon?
In this particular case, online dating can actually be helpful. You can put your family status in your profile, getting rid of those rule-setters from the beginning. If you meet through friends or family, they’ll likely give the new guy the scoop before he makes that phone call to ask you out.
But if you meet in a bar or at work, the best thing to do is be honest before he asks you on that date. Let him know you’re a single mom during that first conversation. Then he can make an informed decision about whether or not he wants to get involved.
When you do head out on that first date, try not to talk about your children too much. We all know you’re proud and there’s certainly a time and place for boasting about little Davey’s stellar report card, and a first date isn’t it. You want to show him that your life isn’t completely wrapped up in your kids. He’s probably already figured out your kids are first priority. He doesn’t have to be constantly reminded.
And whatever you do, don’t bad-mouth the ex. This only makes you look like a bad sport. Whether your ex cheated on you or neglected you or abandoned you on your wedding night, this isn’t the time or place. Save the drama for your girlfriends and keep date talk to things that show you’re an enjoyable, positive person with great conversational skills.
Have fun. Yes, you deserve a night out on the town. You deserve to dance and have a great meal. You deserve to do something for you every now and then without feeling guilty. When you’re happy, you’re a better mom and a better provider for your family. Your happiness benefits everyone.
