Her Kids Hate Me – What to do if Her Kids Hate You?
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Why do they hate me?
For a man dating women with children, no moment can be more dreaded than when he first meets her children. He’s filled with fears. What if they don’t like him? What if they’re spoiled brats? Once he’s started to fall for their mom, it will be too late to back out.
But eventually that day will come. She’ll tell you she wants you to meet her kids. At that point, you can say no but that will only delay the inevitable. Better to just plunge in. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?
Let’s consider the possibilities.
1. You won’t know what to say
How do you talk to kids? Maybe you don’t have kids—maybe you do. Even some dads have a hard time relating to other people’s kids. There’s no shame in feeling uncomfortable speaking to children on their level. Just remember, kids are likely even more unsure and nervous about you than you are about them. The more warm and friendly you are, the more you’ll put them at ease. Take the lead and keep things light and fun, and you’ll be surprised at the results.
2. Her children will be unruly
Nothing can derail a budding relationship like finding out the woman you’re dating has no control over your kids. Standing by quietly while the kids misbehave and even disrespect the woman you’re dating might be next-to-impossible. When that happens, you have to decide whether you want to stick around or get the heck out of there as kindly and gracefully as possible.
3. Her children won’t like you
Honestly, it’s not a remote possibility. Many kids secretly hope their parents will get back together someday. Once a new man is in the picture, that possibility begins to decrease. Her kids could see you as an obstacle keeping their parents from getting back together. Plus, dating women with children means dealing with the ex, who may or may not still be in the picture. If the ex has rights to see them, he might be unhappy about the new man in his children’s lives and might pass that hostility on to his children.
4. You might like the kids too much
Women with children can be very protective. What if the kids get attached to you and mom resents you for it? Or what if you get attached and the relationship doesn’t work out? That is, of course, always a possibility, but chances are if your relationship is serious enough that you’re meeting her kids and those kids like you, you aren’t going anywhere unless you choose to.
Sometimes simply knowing your fears aren’t uncommon can help ease your worry. If you’re dating a single mom, chances are eventually you’ll meet her kids, have an awkward exchange, and go from there. In time, things will get easier and more familiar and, yes, like it or not, eventually you’ll grow to really care about those children. Enjoy. There’s nothing in life that compares to the love of a child.
